It is the same thing, every day......

Day 15,946. Once again I rise from the resting pad. I walk from the dark room to the machine that brews the nutritious elixir. Ingest two cups. Go stand in tempered water dispensing booth. Waste precious resources. Off gas. Off gas more. Giggle. Off gas again. Clad my body with organized cotton threads. I travel 90,000 feet to my place of work. Once again, I have relocated 8 quarts of refined liquid fossil fuel from an on board storage tank to the atmosphere. I spend 9-10 hours attempting to gain tender from people and give this tender to a man who supplies me with health insurance. I stop during the day and ingest mass quantities of MSG, sugar, caffeine, glucose, Taurine. I giggle again. More off gassing. My friends laugh. At the day's conclusion, the machines are turned off and all efforts to gain tender temporarily stop. Returning home, I convert more precious fuel from liquid to vapor. It is late December, I am home and proceed to illuminate 200 exterior lights that suggest merry times. 2 fish died because of that. More off gassing. Review the mail. I see envelopes from people wanting my tender. I clean up and lie down on the resting pad again and saturate my body with illuminating Gamma from the television. I wait for day 15,947.