A nightmarish story of a shower

I had the strangest dream the other night. I had died and had come back to Earth as a bar of soap. I was a new bar. Irish Spring, I suppose. I was in a clean dark dry box. Suddenly, after weeks on a shelf, I heard running shower water and felt movement....Could it be that my time had come to be useful? The box was being opened and as I eagerly peered through the very small cracked opening in the box, I was sure I saw THE Demi Moore! I remember thinking to myself “this is fantastic”. All the trials and wrongs of my previous life were suddenly no longer relevant. I was about to be soaked in water and rubbed all over the naked body of Demi! Demi Moore and me….Alone in the shower. How could I have been so lucky? This second life was the best thing ever. I had won a lottery and never again would I complain about anything. Nothing could be better.

Then without warning, my cardboard covering was fully removed and instead of seeing the beautiful and quite naked, Ms. Moore, there stood Earnest Borgnine! Worse yet, he was just as naked. In spite of my desperate cling to my container, I was pulled from the box and was instantly welded to no less than 30 heavy gauge hairs. They were now embedded across my body and I was never to be free of them. Those hairs were old enough to have been in the movie “Poseidon adventure”. Earnest was rubbing me along his skin in places I cannot mention, but suffice it to say it stunk! Down I went…Up I went. Over boils. In I went and out I went. Over and over.

It was an awful dream and I was grateful to have awakened. I have been using liquid soap, since.